Have you ever felt  that things are out of control.  That when the advise come out of the woodwork saying then control what you can control.  What if you can't control that ?

My life should be full of going places with my husband. Visiting my sister and her husband and going places with them.  taking vacations and working in the garden.  creating new and fun things with my grand children.   instead I am still working and buying a new home.  how in the world can we keep going on. to keep payments up.   giving 100 % at my job and doing conventions.

So different  not slowing down. Only being grandma on the weekends something my grandboys tolerate  because they don't know this grandma.
I want to do things with them and they just want to stay home.

I am so tired  of trying to have the energy to give  and give and give . I don't have time  for me.

So I pitty party is only me because everyone is going their own way ..

So gird up the Loins and go on... At least when I have that heart attack I might be just done with life and ready to do genealogy work with Mom.